***
I woke up yesterday in a funk, worked out hard, and felt phenomenal!..I even ran into an old middle school and high school classmate. I thought twice about saying hi because I was literally drenched in sweat but I'd seen her a couple times at the gym and running around Coyote Hills so I said hello. She was surprised to see me and despite me warning her that I was all sweaty, she still totally gave me a hug. Sweet. We chatted a bit and I went along my day.
But then around mid-afternoon, the funk came back! WTF? I thought I worked it off. Most of the time if I'm feeling out of it or grumpy or lethargic or <insert another negative feeling here> I just work out and its gone. But this time it was gone...only temporarily. That's when I knew I had more work to do...
This kind of work, however, is different. For me, I know that I need to do some emotional unloading. When I'm in a funk, I don't like it, and I attack the feelings head on. I don't put any blame on anyone and take full responsibility for what it is I'm feeling. Then, I figure out why I'm in a funk, process it, and move the heck on!!
Over the years I've become better at managing my own negativity so that I do as little damage to the people around me. This way, after I've processed my baggage, I move on feeling buoyant and light..my natural default, my homeostasis which I most definitely like :)
(Yes! A spontaneous happy face after a sentence is a good sign. I'm making progress.)
Too many big changes happening at once I think takes a toll on us. For me, the current changes I am going through coupled with my responsibilities are weighing me down in a way that is not productive so a change in perspective is definitely in order.
De-funking for me always includes a Q&A session kind of like this:
*****
Let's run through a made-up scenario shall we?
*****
What are you feeling badly about? (Define the problem)
Pretend Client says: "I feel badly that over the last year I've been putting in overtime and delivering quality work but I am not being recognized for it. I feel conflicted because I really want a promotion but how do I get a promotion if my work is not being recognized?"
**Below are more questions and answers that aid the problem-solving-process**
How can you change this?
1) What do you mean by not being recognized? Be more specific, please. Do you want to be verbally recognized? Do you want to be publicly or privately recognized? How often do you want recognition..after each major task/project, annually during your review period, or bi-weekly? This question will vary depending on the kind of work of you do and who your supervisor/boss is."
2) You say you really want a promotion. What kind of promotion do you want? Do you want added responsibility and pay? How do you go about asking for a promotion? How much upward mobility is in your current company and how have people in the past "moved up"? If there is little to no means for upward mobility you can (a) suck it up and stick around and wait or (b) find employment elsewhere ."
If you cannot change this situation, how can you make it better? How can you feel lighter?
(a) Sucking it up and sticking around.
Do you generally like the environment where you work and what you do? If the answer is yes, then stay. Focus on a good attitude, manage office politics astutely, and deliver quality work. With a little luck, something may open up.
If you don't like your work environment and what you do, but you need to stay..how can you make your day better?
I suggest doing things you love interspersed throughout your day.
Here are some ideas:
1) work out during your lunch
2) nap during your lunch
3) call/text someone for a quick hello who makes you smile
4) look at pictures of people you love
5) watch something that makes you laugh
6) read motivational quotes on perseverance etc
7) re-live a moment where your incompetent boss/co-worker was utterly embarrassed or humiliated..HAHAHA ;D
8) TAKE a lunch
9) remind yourself why you do what you do
10) meditate
(b) Leaving.
Do you equally loathe your environment and what you do?
Then its probably time to explore your options. Meet up with your trusted whomever, have lunch, and talk about your options. As much as possible, be professional and give at least a two-week's notice if you are going to leave unless you really, REALLY cannot take it anymore and you might inflict some workplace violence on someone or have a panic attack or some other horrible outcome by you staying.
Most of all, do your best to access your situation and most importantly figure out what it is you really want and once you've got that figured out, GO FOR IT!
GOOD LUCK!
*****
Alrighty then.
I think my Pretend Client feels better, and now, so do I. Quadruple smiley face is in order.
:-) =) :) ;-D
:-) =) :) ;-D
De-funking successful.
Have a good rest of the week everyone!
