Bullys vs Brawlers

Sweaty gym session and the inspiration fairy 🧚‍♀️ hit me today at the gym with an elegant idea 💡 regarding primary types of personalities.

In my experience, I have observed two primary personality types: givers and takers.

Givers are those who primarily give: time, energy, and money. There are also takers of time, energy, and money.

Human interactions seem to have some balance of these energies but what I want to discuss are the takers that have taken their taking to the extreme and have evolved into full grown Bullys.

As God would have it, the universal clap 👏 back to the Bullys are the Brawlers.

At first glance, you may think these two prototypes are the same but when you dismantle their psychology they are very different.

First, the use of control:

In the above diagram, the Brawler as I have identified this prototype is ruled by a strong 💪 sense of self control whereas the Bully is out of control due to a strong 💪 desire for control.

Second, how they push is different. The Brawler pushes out of self protection -or- protection of others; whereas, the Bully pushes out of a compulsion to control others.

Lastly, and the biggest differentiator is the energy these prototypes hold. The Brawler’s baseline state is: peace / contentment whereas the Bully is anxious / erratic.

When operating at our highest levels, we must decide for ourselves what side resonates with us the most. We must decide how we’re gonna come out swinging 🥊✍️🏃🏻‍♀️whether that’s mind, body, spirit 🙏🏽🕊️👩🏻‍⚖️⚖️

Gotta jet ✈️ Go get em’ tigers 🐅 Be peaceful 🕊️, strong 💪, and ready to strike 🤺without hesitation or fear when that time comes 🕰️✅👍😊

🎧 Audio version link here via SoundCloud

My Asian-ness...

Early Christmas Part Deux 12-1-24

 ...really comes out and does jumping jacks when Helen and Christina pop up in my life. I'm not even a lot Chinese, like a small negligible fraction, maybe 15% max but that small percentage really resonates with these two lol ;-) I just get real comfortable with them and allow myself to be entertained by our banter and the things that come out of our mouths and purses.

the Asian connection is strong with these two forever cuties

My fobbyness is very comfortable with their fobbyness because they are native Cantonese speakers and can also speak the other major Chinese language that I do not recall at the moment.

Christina was always the one getting knocked up because she was always forgetting to take her birth control lol ;-)

When they speak their language, I just look at them and know they're not talking smack because they hella love me. Ya, like love me-long-time kind. They've seen me through my high school years, college years, married years, and now divorced years. They're as down as they get and I love how we allow ourselves to be vulnerable about our shared familial traumas while having fun and being okay with our collective IQ's dipping from their normal baselines by talking about the silliest things.

Waddup cuties

Case in point, Christina is super obsessed with smells and sensations. She has a name for every physical state and smell state. Like "omg, you guys, he hella smelled like belly-button." Or "Omg, I was so scared I got coochie-shrivel." l - m - a - freakin - o!!

Auntie Heren and Gigi

And then Helen is a natural comedian. She shared with us over the dinner table with my kids about this lady who made a whole comedian bit about granny panties. L-M-A-freakin-O x 2. We watched this funny lady's bit over the dinner table and she is soooooo funnnyyy!! Link and short cut to the granny panty bit below. I love me my Asian peeps.

Click for a funny surprise

Now they know why my skin is always so soft & supple. It's the Coconut oil from the Motherland. We kept rubbing our hands and arms with it because it is super luxurious feeling and has a gentle smell. I capitalize Coconut because I use it as a proper noun with a proper name.

C & H went bonkers over my Coconut Oil from the Philippines

I also made them my fresh and fancy Hawaiian and French coffee via my ghetto rig coffee pour I created from a tea maker that has very small slotted holes that allow for maximum coffee extraction because I love my coffee strong

Holiday Headquarters in full effect

Where to Shop Blog Post: for the Holidays and Everyday

Alright party people. The party invitations are gonna start rolling in and if you are not ready yours truly will get you there.

As a self proclaimed down to Earth fashion diva, I enjoy shopping at places my mom doesn't fancy because she buys me stuff from her places that are super expensive. My tastes are more average / above average and being a trained accountant if the price is not right, it will be a hard pass for me, unless I love it.

First off, I want to take care of the ladies and moms who are always taking care of everybody before themselves.

For these kindred spirits I recommend going to Zara. No, not the Zara outlet if there is one. But the real one at a high end mall like Valley Fair in San Jose. The only draw about this place is that the workers either on the weekday or weekend are not warm or inviting. It must be because the brand is European so the American workers pick up on that snottiness and dole it out unconsciously. I don't really care because their stuff is hellaaaa cute and I don't need any help in that store. I see what I like and I get it and I'm out. 

Here are a couple tutorials on how to shop at this not so friendly establishment that carries super cute stuff:

Video 1

Click here for tutorial 1

Video 2

Click here for tutorial 2

For my ladies that don't want to spend a bundle you can go to Ross but what I would get here are not outfits but more like everyday accessories like hats, beanies, socks, pajamas, house stuff, sometimes they have cute lounge wear and lingerie, bras, eyelashes, hair stuff, and definitely the snacks. Love the snacks here.

Video 3

Click here for tutorial 3

Next my all time fave for nicer stuff is TJ Maxx/ Home Goods and Ross for everyday basic stuff for the self and the home. Just some good gift ideas are cropped vests for the ladies, sporty things and pajamas for the dudes, and cook ware and exotic spices for your favorite cook that you want to encourage to keep cooking for you. If you come here during the weekdays you won't have to share their super narrow shopping aisles. If you're not in a good mood, don't go here with a shopping cart. It's like driving in the Philippines. There are no lanes and the ones that exist are too narrow for two shopping carts to pass through.

Video 4

At Home store tour 1

Next is my fave fave place to pass time when I work out at City Sports in San Jose. It's this home decor place called At Home. If my kids were still toddlers we would go work out at the City Sports while they would be in the babysitting area. Then after we would walk over to Starbucks, eat there, then meander over to the At Home and watch the big holiday sceneries they have on display all over the store. With mothers with young children this place is ginormous. You can tire out the kiddos and have them napping by the time you get back in the car.

Video 5

At Home store tour 2

Thats all for me. Happy Holidays !🙏🏽🎄⛪️♥️

I'm a numbers girl, by trade and profession. Here are my blog stats that me and the kids love to watch :-)

 I don't pay for any advertising here so this is just purely based on organic blog foot traffic:

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The best play maker

 

My dad was a brilliant strategist in business and in life

Oh my gosh you guys, I had so many adventures with my dad with him showing me how to do some thaangs in business and in life. It's the holiday season and I want to remember him fondly by chatting you all up on my best adventures with my old man.

Middle school 

He was like Millie, biasa ka pero (you're smart but), you also need to learn how to use your womanly wiles to affect more positive change in your life. Men can't do this but you can. This is powerful if used correctly.

I had to research what "wiles" was in a paper dictionary because I had no clue what that word meant and Google was not a thing.

I ended up becoming student body president and the recipient of the superintendent's award while being in the country for only 4 years with that advice.

High school

We met with the high school principal my senior year for some petty thing the principal was trying to pin on me. Not fighting, something advocacy based that I knew my rights on and I just was not compliant cuz I'm stubborn like that. So the principal thought getting me in trouble with my dad by calling a formal meeting in his office was gonna scare me. Guess what? My dad came in the meeting with his higher intellect, calm demeanor, and scared his ass 😜. That d*ck of a principal did not see that coming 🙄. Me being 18 at the time was petty as F/! I walked out of that meeting behind my dad, turned around, made direct eye contact with the principal and made the ugliest face while pointing at the principal and taunting his ass 😜😂😅🤣. Whomp. whomp. You stupid butt head LOST. lol. Thank you Papa for having my back!

College

Papa, "Millie, how the hell did you get a paid summer internship and acceptance into the summer leadership conference from Ernst & Young?! You don't even LIKE Math and Accounting."

Me: "Pa, don't worry about it. You taught me a lot. The details don't matter. It's done."

Papa, in visible awe, "You f*ing bitch!"(He said this to me endearingly and a lot when I would win and one up him without even trying lmao. This was my dad's way of celebrating me without enlargening my ego which was very good for my interpersonal development. No one calls me this anymore to my face except gay guys at the bar who love my vibe and wanna be friendsies right off the bat. "Dammmmm. Who this b*tch!" 👯‍♀️ lol )

Go call your pops if you got one! Mine is heaven and I remember him fondly and lovingly forever!! Had the best times with him because we were light weight twinsies in how me moved in the world and we knew it lol ;-) 🌟🌟

"Spare Change" an original poem written and performed by Giavanna Rose DePerio

In celebration of Filipino National Heritage Month here is Gigi's complete oration of her original poem:

Link to vimeo

True power

Identify your "Marilyn" and AVOID it like the plague ;-)

The truest test of someone’s personal power is not necessarily what one has accomplished per se because money, educational degrees, and multiple properties anyone with hard work ethic can attain. True power lies in what someone “resists” but “wants” for the sake of self discipline and personal prowess; NOT for anyone else's sake, but for one's own self betterment ❤️

Case in point, you will NEVER find me buying Girl Scout cookies 🍪 because sweets are my weakness. Boy Scouts treats, like popcorn 🍿, last forever in my house 🏡 because they cost twenty five freakin dollars per box lmao 😂 

Please try to Be Good and resist your temptations that will get you freaking FAT this month, and in the remaining months of what’s left of this short year. If you work hard the remainder of the year, you will NOT need a new year's resolution to drop unwanted fatness.

Don’t be a CHUNKO and eat -AND- drink anything and everything you please cuz you feel like it. If you can avoid it 🙅🏻‍♀️🍚🍪 🍫 🧁 AVOID IT🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️