Tuesday, September 10, 2024

King of Chaos

My children are my biggest blessings and the cost of having them is having to deal with their sperm donor, The King of Chaos (KOC).


In this particular thread I will freely rant and document the dumbassery that the KOC engages in that I will transmute, deflect, and make into literary mockery.



9/19/24


Coparenting with a fully entrenched covert narcissist (CN) is like a boxing match with an invisible opponent. You know they're there but they work in the shadows and vacillate between passivity and aggression. There is no middle ground. There is no consistency. There is no substance. If you put your intuitive feelers on, their energy will feel hollow, empty, and substance-less. It's like a self driving car with no human driver. These individuals, through deep childhood trauma, have lost their basic goodness, and humanity. How they humanize themselves is unhealthily attaching to other humans. Their identity is based on superficiality instead of substance. There's a lot of mental confusion and lack of clarity when in relationship with these types of individuals. You can't put your finger on it, but you know, deep down, that the hollowness is real. My friends, be very careful. Minimally engage and stay grounded. Allow them to self destruct in their narcissistic rage. Rage is the only thing that is consistent about them as they cannot control it or control themselves when in a full blown adult tantrum as they are a starving and depraved child at their core. 


9/10/24


Some people unfortunately are so emotionally stunted that they never grow up into fully functioning and healthy adults. This is not easy to spot especially if coping mechanisms have been to just live as distractedly as possible with little to no focus and purpose.


A prime example is the KOC.


Yesterday Gavin and I were supposed to attend a parent meeting for church which I coordinated last week. Everything was set up nicely and we all knew what to expect.


As I check in with Gavin for pick up he tells me the KOC will take him instead. I said that’s not what I agreed to since I’m the registered and paying parent and he was not invited.


To make a long story short the KOC (through his son) argued to take him to the meeting. When I told the KOC I was going to tell the family therapist that he was taking away my parental right by disallowing me from taking Gavin he finally backed off and “let me.” Hahahaha. What a real m/f’r; it has to take the fact of “losing face and getting in trouble” to get the KOC to do the right thing.


For the record, a simple thing is never a simple thing because total control, and never losing face, no matter the cost, is the thing that is of highest value to people like them. 


Another recent time of a major win against the KOC was this past June 2024. The KOC was going to leave our son completely home alone at his house unsupervised for 5 days until I got wind of it and I had to notify the police. He then quickly and hastily contacted his enablers to babysit his kid that he was happy to leave with them for 5 days. Had I not pushed hard against this dumbassery my child would be victim of child negligence (again.) And, yes KOC has a long documented history of this pattern of behavior in addition to domestic emotional violence of the three of us with two (2) CPS reports filed with the first one filed by our marriage therapist back in 2017. And worse, elder financial abuse and manipulation of my elderly mother from 2022-2023 which incited a police investigation.


The whole modus operandi of the KOC over the years is making sweeping half baked plans and grand gestures so that he, the KOC, looks like “The King” even if he actually is a joke who behaves like a dysregulated, chaotic, and unpredictable Joker.


A Joker who himself is a joke. And not a good or funny one at that.


**mic drop**


Monday, September 2, 2024

A very good physique

While Gavin and I were out grocery shopping today a substantial looking man stopped us and told Gavin he has “a very good physique” and how come he didn’t play sports.

Mom, over here said, “Yes he does sir. He plays basketball very well and has muscles as I proceeded to show him Gavin’s biceps while  lifting his T-shirt sleeve as proof (lmao.)

Said substantial looking man, “Thats awesome, how are your grades?” Gavin piped in respectfully, “I get straight A’s.”

Then said man, “Good job mom.” I said thank you very much sir and we wished each other a good rest of the day.

Looking back, Gavin and I have had lots of positive encounters with good natured strangers  while out and about minding our own business.

Today I want to remember that and say thank you to the kind substantial looking man who sincerely complimented my son’s efforts.

Small kind gestures go a long way so go compliment someone sincerely and make their day :-)

Another highlight of our weekend: making my 2 month old nephew, Lennox smile. ☺️ Such a cutie!!

Have a charmed and blessed week friends 

πŸ«ΆπŸ’›πŸŒ·πŸŒŸ

Monday, August 26, 2024

Book recommendation #1

Whats up blogettes, here’s my first book recommendation based on content I consumed back when the kids were still toddlers and what this man is talking about is still very relevant and coming into fruition. If you have kids I suggest you read it or give it a listen on Audible because the author actually narrated the book and you get on his vibe quite quickly.

To summarize, it’s about how automation and A / I (artificial intelligence) will put most human jobs / functions into the hands of non humans in the not so far future, i.e.; Chat GPT having the capability to understand and generate natural language text etc.

The ramifications of A / I and the capability of deep machine learning should give us pause on how we move, work, become, and share as humans in that our capacity for “right brained” thinking will be the key differentiators for what will separate the strong and successful, both physical states that cannot be purchased, outsourced, or delegated.

I also have to add that an over reliance for dopamine hits via our smart phones via social media is eroding our capacities to fully connect with other humans IRL (in real life.)

Very important to hold onto what’s real, who’s right in front of us, and what’s under our roof rather than what’s behind a screen.

Happy listening or reading :-)

Don’t get dumb and lazy please (unless that’s your jam.)

Have a charmed & blessed week friends

✌️πŸ•Š️πŸ¦‹πŸ‘

Friday, August 23, 2024

What’s up blogettes




During the car ride to school this morning my kids and I had such an animated conversation about an old blog post I wrote about Gavin.

We were talking about bullying etc. and in my mind I remembered a post I wrote about this but kept the thought to myself.

And then, **lo and behold**, Gigi’s like, “Mom like that post you wrote about Gavin bullying that big boy on your blog?!”

http://charmedandblessed.blogspot.com/search/label/Bullying?m=0

And there you go: my purposeful mom posts from 11 years ago to cement my ephemeral motherhood experiences of a 3 and 5 year old are now starting to pay dividends because my kids (14 & 16) LOVE reading stories about themselves in their younger years!

It’s so freakin sweet how we were dissecting that lesson and to this day I still remember that gentlemanly father who taught his big boy well.

Anyhoo, just wanting to share my wins since it is Friday and I have been positive and productive as a honey bee.

Check out my babies 9th & 11th grade school pics.


Update

Gavin, for the record, is an apt defender of his sister and anyone he cares for.

Two years ago the assistant principal of his middle school called me saying some kid was giving his sister and girlfriend at the time a problem and was being overtly physical and handsy etc., and Gavin set the kid straight.

Sunday, October 8, 2023

Brain 🧠 Training

Brain πŸ§  Training


Watch: The Huberman Lab Podcasts on YouTube. You’ll get smarter just listening and following along with what they’re talking about. Plus, Dr. Andrew Huberman talks with his hands and he’ll occasionally “flex” without flexing because not only is he super articulate but he’s also buffπŸ’ͺ 


Do: Download Impulse Brain Training. Put that tendency to scroll endlessly on socials and sharpen your mind in the areas of attention, focus, problem solving, and visual creativity  


Prioritize: Having meaningful conversations with people who matter. We are social beings and therefore happier when we have our needs for connection (emotional, intellectual, physical, mental, and spiritual) met in real life on a consistent basis πŸ™Œ


Have a charmed and blessed week everyone πŸ€—

Saturday, January 28, 2023

Past, Present, and Future


"Open your soul, throw open the depths of your heart to see the richness of simplicity, the treasures of peace, and the sweetness of grace." 


Saint Ambrose of Milan


To my Past:

Thank you for making me stronger and wiser, but most of all; good riddance!


To my Present:

I am grateful, joyful, and peaceable.


To my Future:

I am hopeful, excited, and grounded in God's love and eternal embrace.


Wishing you and your loved ones a super duper charmed and blessed 2023 ! ! ! :-) ;-) = )

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