Saturday, January 29, 2011

No longer lost.

A little over a year ago, I was lost, grouchy, out of touch with the things that gave me joy, and in one word: unfulfilled. The article below was written around this time, documenting this rough patch of mine. It was written under the pen name "Emily."

Being naturally self-interested I never thought I would be prey to "losing one's self to motherhood" but boy was I ever wrong!!! EVERYTHING revolved around my daughter and I didn't realize it until she was 18 months old! Hello? A little clueless are we? YES! New motherhood is like that. Time is on warp speed. Adrenaline is high, energy is low, and uninterrupted sleep is unheard of.

Today, I feel more at peace, balanced, confident, and decisive (on my best days). My friends and family ask me how it is raising two small children and I tell them it is easier with two than with one. Yes, you read that right. EASIER with TWO than with ONE child. Why? Because the first time around I had no parental confidence and pretty much did everything wrong (did not sleep train, carried the baby all the time, was a 24 hour breast feeding buffet to the baby...etc. etc.) THIS time around I actually devoured books on parenting, motherhood, sleep training, and all things important to have an EASIER life with baby #2. All that self-educating did wonders and lo and behold I found the time to do some work. The soul-searching kind of work that got me to the happier place I find myself in today.

This entry is dedicated to all my Mommy friends. And here's a quote that so aptly describes my "self-interested-sentiments" about motherhood:

"The myth of motherhood as martyrdom has been bred into women, and behavioral scientists have helped embellish the myth with their ideas of correct "feminine" behavior. If women understand that they do not have to ignore their own needs and desires when they become mothers, that to be self-interested is not to be selfish, it will help them to avoid the trap of overattachment."


Sunday, January 9, 2011

Locker room reflections, week 4

I really wanted a way to track my fitness and nutrition progress so that I can motivate myself to keep chugging along because I know I will reach my goals through consistent and sustained effort = )

As the title states, most of these entries were written on my phone through and inside the gym locker-room, right after my workouts.

They are sweaty, unpolished, & raw ;D

*Week 4 updates:
(1) New entries through 1/27/11
(2) Sorted by Week
(3) More entries from the hubs

Week 4

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Chhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeoooooooo!!!Had a great shoulder workout and 1.2 mile run with a pace of 8'31".
Wednesday, January 19th, by Gerald

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It is past midnight and although my body is physically tired from the 2 mile incline walk/jog/sprint my head is finally clear and I feel rejuvenated =)
Thursday, January 20th, by Millie

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Had a short, high intensity run and incline walk this morning. The kiddies are with me today and the kid's club closes soon. I made the very most of my short but intense (Lots of huffing, puffing, & sweating) cardio workout. Gotta run, ciao!
Friday, January 21st, by Millie

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I had a weak back workout and a sluggish run... OCD kicked in trying to adjust the iPhone arm band and set the volume right. To make things worst right when I was getting in a zone, I had to interrupt my run to tie my shoe lace. Redemption with gymmie tomorrow.
Friday, January 21st, by Gerald

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Great morning workout and weighed in 2.8 pounds less. Yay!
Saturday, January 22nd, by Millie

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Boooooom bang! I had an explosive workout. Started off by hitting the irons for chest workout and biceps in between sets. Finished off by running 1.52 8'17" /mi. Def progress with my runs.
Saturday, January 22nd, by Gerald

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Amazing cardio this morning. Started off on the elliptical to get heart rate up then finished strong with an intense run and climb. I don't look amazing (yet) but I definitely feel amazing! Oh yaaaaa!
Tuesday, January 25th, by Millie

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Warmed up on the elliptical for 15 mins. Then dreaded off to working out the chicken legs. Im not a big fan of leg workouts, but I know I need to get' em in. I did a combo of free weights and machines. I stayed away from squats for now because my weak legs can't handle the soreness the next day, but I managed to do leg presses. I mixed in some chest workouts. Overall I had a decent workout.
Wednesday, January 26th, by Gerald

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Cranky and sleep deprived for days now from Gigi being sick and Gavin's growth spurt (and increased middle of the night feedings.) I took it out on a high intensity cardio workout on the elliptical machine tonight. I feel good again and no heads will be bitten off :)
Wednesday, January 26th, by Millie

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Wings of the morning I fly! First and hopefully more early morning runs. I tapped into nike running and started a program. I'm digging the whole digital world with apps, web site and media with nike+. The nike app syncs nice with the web where one can see all your runs and progress. In addition, there's an option to sync your status with FB and twitter. Wifey and I, and folks have been inspiring each other's workouts. Brand new year and so far a fresh new lifestyle!
Thursday, January 27th, by Gerald

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Feeling a tickle in my throat and I'm feeling a cold brewing.. Instead of skipping my workout I took it easy. Mostly walked, jogged a little on an incline at a medium low intensity for 30 minutes. There are days to push one's self and today is not one of them. All things considered, I'm happy I got here and had a good enough workout. Tonight I pray for an uninterrupted, full night's sleep! crossing fingers, legs, arms, eyes ;D
Thursday, January 27th, by Millie


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No matter what life throws at us, I think it is all the more important to maintain the activities that make us feel centered ( and sane). Going to the gym and/or working out at home is becoming a shared ritual for us and I am happy that both Gerald and I are committed to this positive change. Today's workout was a short, high intensity jog and incline-walk :)
Tuesday, January 18th

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Day 18 on the exercise docket was a full day of household chores topped off with Bollywood dancing with the kiddies while Gee took Mick's fitness class. It was a good day of moving and mindful eating as I stayed 1 point under my WW points today. Yah boyiee!
Monday, January 17th

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After an afternoon of sitting on my derriere and emotional eating at a family get together, going on a long medium-low intensity walk was just what I needed. Kinda taking it easy because I have a mild cold and hoping that I can sweat out the toxins.
Sunday, January 16th

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I've been really good at being consistent about going to the gym and doing cardio. This week I want to slowly weave some light resistance training..even if I do this at home so I can lose fat and build muscle. All it takes is planning for this and committing as I have about my daily cardio workouts. Slowly but surely this can be done!
Saturday, January 15th


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I took an exercise class with Helen tonight and failed miserably. Not only was I out of step, I was totally out of place because everybody (all 100+) of them were kicking, punching, high stepping completely unfazed.Helen was encouraging and said it takes about 4-5 classes to really "get it" but uncoordinated & stubborn me who dances to my own rhythm will most likely take twice as long. After quickly accessing the situation, I decided I did not want to burn 20 calories in 1 hour due to utter confusion so after 15 minutes I left the class and ran. And boy did I have a good run! I realize I need to keep my workouts simple. Putting one foot in front of the other is something I can do well so I'll stick to that for now :)
Tuesday, January 11th

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Noy and I wrapped up a second MMA fitness class. Had a great circuit training with a mix of resistance band workouts, punching the mitts and hard kicks to the pads. Big Ups to Mickey Lopez for hosting the Monday session.
Monday, January 10th

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Day 11 (easy walk) & Day 12 (today) med-high intensity 50 min pure cardio done. My membership at Bally's doesn't have childcare for children under 1, good thing 24 Hr Fitness does. Yippee ;) Have a productive week all!
Monday, January 10th

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Week 2 on weight watchers pointsplus program. Sundays are my weigh in days and I do this first thing in the morning at my local WW. I was happy to find out that I lost 1.6 pounds this week. Although I've been really good at working out/moving more, my tracking has been incomplete and LOTS of things were completelyUNACCOUNTED for and thankfully I still lost weight. The experiment I'm going to do this week is to get keep my activity level up while tracking EVERYTHING I eat/drink. There, I wrote it. No excuses more excuses! I CAN do this!! 
: ) ;D ;)
Sunday, January 9th


Friday, January 7, 2011

The sweetest thing

Clueless Newlyweds, November 2006

I've wanted to write and research this topic for awhile because I believe that our birth order contributes to the friction and passion we have for our significant other. With Gerald and I, our main issue is over control (we're both the eldest, see recommended article #1 for your relationship pairing.)

The funny thing is that it wasn't until after  we got married that we put this together. (Of course the perceptive woman called it out: "Dude! We got issues. We both want to be the boss and in control.") Since we are now aware of our biggest weakness we are better at managing ourselves and in turn each other when conflict arises. I think the most important thing we've learned is to discuss (calmly, openly, and after the dust settles) our expectations of one another in future situations so that we *hopefully* do not repeat that type of behavior leading to altercation.

On the flip side. Remove the pride, the rigors of child-rearing, the wanting to control, and what Gerald and I have is a love and friendship like no other. At our very best we can talk about anything and everything. At our core we are hopeful, committed, and love to have fun. We notice the little things that make each other happy. We have mutual hopes, dreams, and aspirations. We not only give to each other but give wholeheartedly to our families because we know how important they are to each of us. Although we may not always show it, we value each other immensely : )

Being married is tough. There's a lot of pride-swallowing, inner-demon-battling, and sacrificing involved. BUT, I am firm believer that if you put in the work, the sweet fruit that true love bears will sustain you and more = )

Here's a toast to married life! May you always find your way back to love : ) = ) ;D

Recommended articles:

1) Birth order and marital pairings

2) Six habits of happily married couples

3) Marriage traps to avoid

4) LOOOONG but worth the read