Monday, December 2, 2013

Bullies


Gavin has bullying tendencies that need to be tamed. He is a sweet boy but has difficulty processing frustration and anger at this time. He is terrible three-ing and has inherited the bullying gene.

Today while playing at a McDonald's a concerned dad of a sad looking boy (almost twice Gavin's length and width) informed me politely that my son punched his son in the face. I apologized profusely and was absolutely flabbergasted.

I called for Gavin and asked that he apologize to the boy. I told Gavin that he was lucky that this boy had good self control because he could have easily beaten him up. Major props to that big boy's dad who taught his good natured son not to beat up on smaller boys. Gavin, with his head down, said he was sorry (sincerely). The boy accepted his apology, we parted ways, and they even wished us a Merry Christmas. (Talk about good natured & friendly!)

I had a serious talk with Gavin and put him in an embarrassing time out. Of course he cried. A lot.

 
My boy genuinely felt bad about what he did and I'm glad he had the courage to apologize. I told him that when he gets angry or frustrated he needs to take a deep breath and walk away. 

In my experience bullies need to be effectively handled (especially if you have a couple in your home like I do.) Don't ever let them get away with seemingly "small abuses" because I guarantee it will grow and blow up in your face unless you swiftly nip in the bud.



All in all this mommy thing is tough but I am glad to be the one raising my crazy, loving, & smart children. 

We must remember to stand strong and dole out that tough love to ensure we do not add a bully to the general population. 

Have a charmed & blessed week friends!!




Monday, November 18, 2013

Everyday lessons


Gigi came home from kindergarten in a "mood" today. She was especially annoyed at Gavin for banging his toy and making loud noises.

After she had lunch, I set her up with an activity in her room (alone).

As I was helping Gavin with something, he mentions that he wants to apologize to Gigi.

The conversation went like this:

Gavin: "I sorry for making loud noises earlier, Gigi."

Gigi: "Its okay, I feel much better now. Do you want to join me?"

What I like about this interaction is that it shows me that my kids are learning (1) how to be kind to one another (2) how to express their feelings in an appropriate manner (3) how to apologize when their behavior has negatively affected someone. 

Seeing this type of interplay between them is what makes all the hard work of parenting so worth it!!

Have a charmed & blessed week friends! 







Tuesday, October 22, 2013

My tribe


May 6, 2011

I have the tremendous opportunity to mother my young children without the need for full time childcare.  I cherish this role as I have grown immensely from it. As with any time-worthy-experience will have, there are challenges.


December 22, 2010
I survived round-the-clock nursing, sleepless nights, temper tantrums, sibling conflicts, nap time/meal time/bed time routines, etc. I felt accomplished and was super proud of myself. I developed a deeper capacity for love (and patience) that I never knew.
3 month old Gavin. August 14, 2010

Then I felt that twinge that something was missing. I started moving more. Exercising. Running. Strength training. Felt good. Got strong. Ran long.

Gigi and I at Lake Elizabeth : ) July 14, 2009

After all that, there was still something missing that I could not readily put my finger on. Then one day, about two years ago, it hit me. I WAS LONELY.

 


I thought, how could I possibly be lonely? I have work outside of being a mom, a supportive husband, family, and friends. Then I dissected the issue: being a full time mom is lonely. The friends in my inner circle are solid, time-tested, love-them-to-pieces, but logistically unavailable. My family although available, were not going through the same life stage I was, so being able to relate was an issue. Plus, family and friends seemed dis-interested in going with me to kid-centered outings. Since I consider myself an active and fun mom, my favorite thing to do is to do stuff with my kids. How wonderful would it be to do stuff with other moms and their kids close to home?!




So I got to work and went to the best place to find me some friends: the internet. The first group I tried was a faith-based mom's group. Very nice women. They had on the spot childcare during meetings which I thought was cool. In the end, two things turned me off: (1)  the price to add to group was a couple hundred every couple months. What the heck? I don't want friends that bad  (2) it just didn't feel like a good fit. The group also reminded me of the forced bonding common in college sororities. Kinda fake. I didn't like that.




Back to the drawing board I went. During my search I found MeetUp.com. I found a mom's group that had a hundred plus members and only cost $5 to get in. I also liked how you needed to go to an orientation meeting before your membership was accepted. Great security feature I thought. I went to my first meeting and found out about all the fun things this group organizes. Play date galore!!





I went to a bunch of play dates and slowly started getting to know certain moms. Developing mom and kid friendships is not easy because (1) the moms have to vibe and (2) so do their kids. If either one of these conditions is not met, the friendship may not be viable.


My tribe :) October 19, 2013

I quietly for prayed for some mom friends. I also quietly prayed for fitness buddies. It was a slow process, but now I look around and BAM! I have both :-) What I love about developing and nurturing friendships with like-minded individuals is that very often, you find that you share common values, goals, and dreams. This multi-level-connection coupled with logistical availability is a sweet recipe for deeply-rooted-friendships. And what a tremendous blessing my friends have been to me !!

This post is dedicated to my little tribe of wonderful mothers. From left to right: Kiscelle, Daisy, Linda, Petra, Adria, & Tina (not pictured). You all complete me! ;-) 


So...



And realize that...




May you all have a charmed & blessed week!

See my FitChick story here: http://www.1runwithheart.com/2013/09/my-triathlon-journey.html




Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Healthy kids


The thing I love most about being a mom is doing stuff with my kids.

We especially enjoy being active outdoors. The cool, sunny, Fall weather was calling us to come out to play. 

So we did!


First Gavin and I had breakfast with our friends Adria and her adorable daughter Alana.


We headed to our favorite park and brought our bikes along.


Gigi was quite the helper, first showing Gavin how to pedal.


And sharing her bike with a new friend and pushing her along as she learned to pedal.


Then some tree climbing and general park play.




I relish the fun and bonding I have with my growing children. Experiencing my kid's firsts and celebrating the acquisition of new skills, confidence, fills me with love, pride, & purpose. 

Have a good week friends!


The Little Things

Thankful for the little things today...

Gavin waited all morning so that he could share his freshly baked gummy-bear-laden-cookies with Gigi (until we picked her up from school). He wanted to give her a treat and "surprise" her.


And later he ate all his veggies (first) during dinner!



Last, but not least, I found this picture of us that Gigi kept under her pillow. Such a sweetheart :-)



Friday, June 14, 2013

Dream


The bad thing about a good thing, is at some point, it must end. I am specifically talking about our most recent family vacation at the Aulani because I'm feeling a very delayed reaction of"vacation withdrawals."

Another thing is that Disneyland is not the happiest place on earth for families, the Aulani is. There you can have equal parts of relaxation and stimulation. Whatever floats your boat, they have outstanding offerings for everyone in the family.

While we were there, we fell in a natural routine and rhythm. There was little stress and a lot of togetherness. We barely left the resort. (If I were Oprah, I'd send all my Facebook friends and their families there ;D lol)

The stone that I picked at the spa said for me to focus on my Dream.

Right now that dream would involve being a part time professional vacationer where I get paid to write, run, and travel with my family. A new place every couple of months! Ahh. That'd be the life for me :)

What's your dream?

Whatever it is, I hope you follow it. Even just a little bit ;D

I promise a more comprehensive vacation report soon-ish? Until then,

E Komo Mai!

" E komo mai. Nou ka hale."
This is a traditional Hawaiian greeting
welcoming you to,
"Come inside, the house is yours."

Source: http://library.thinkquest.org/5410/

A Happy Friday Friends and An early Happy Father's Day to all the Fantastic Fathers out there!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Our essential selves

The thing I love about running is its simplicity.

You don't need make up, a personal trainer, a class, or equipment. Just some clothes and shoes, and you're good to go.

This is as bare-bones as an activity can get and I love that through my training I know I can tough out almost any condition nature throws out at me. Most recently I've ran in icy conditions, rainy conditions, tropical conditions, and at home to more temperate weather.

Moreover, I have very positive memories and associations with specific runs. Like the 10+ miler I ran a year or so ago to the mall and went shopping. Or 13+ miler with girlfriends I adore. Or the tremendously hilly 10k I ran with my husband that I nearly quit. Or the 5k obstacle course that reminded me how afraid I am of  heights. Or the very first race I ever completed: a full marathon at 26.2 miles in Honolulu. I could go on and on...

The gist of this post is that running (outdoors not the dang dreadmill) is more than exercise to me. It is going out and being part of nature. It is a form of active meditation. Most importantly it is a means for my subconscious to make its desires known. And lastly, it is a sure-fire way for me to hear what my essential self wants.

As such, recent events have me tabling my training plan for spontaneity. As long as my mileage is within a certain range and I throw in an easy run, a tempo, and a long run, I feel good. Wait not just good but strong and wholesome. In every way.

The intelligent and like-able Martha Beck defines our "essential selves" as who we are at our very core. The quiet voice inside of us who steers us to safety, happiness, and contentment. In contrast our "social selves" is our outer shell that we use to interface with the world. The intention of our "social selves" can be muddied with other people's expectations of us. Again, according to Beck, the way we find true contentment (which she defines as our "North Star") is to have our essential selves and social selves exist harmoniously.

Here's a link to the book I'm talking about:

http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Your-Own-North-Star/dp/0812932188



About two weeks ago during my long run at Coyote Hills, I kept hearing in my head "I am athlete." Being attuned to my individual intuition I knew this to be my essential self asserting itself, quietly but clearly. And of course, she was right on cue, while on a long run doing my favorite activity in my favorite place at that.

The first thought I had was Geez, my essential self has poor grammar, LOL. But as always that little voice was spot on. Most recently, I have been feeling, acting, and thinking like an athlete. And you know what? I like it. I like it a dang lot.

To me, as a runner, life is one big run. There are hills, ditches, flat terrain, rocky terrain and hey, don't forget mother nature. Sometimes she is a m/f'r. JK. Not really.

What I'm saying is this: keep running. Or moving or walking or dancing or ujamming or biking or swimming. Whatever floats your boat, just keep moving. And most importantly MOVE FORWARD.

There will be excruciating hills. But there will also be bliss. Embrace them all and you will emerge stronger, wholesome, and content.

No matter what m/f'rs throw at you, you will come out on top.

Just listen to that small voice.

You'll be happy you did.

I know I am.

Have charmed and blessed week, friends.

= )








Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Aulani Photobook

Cuties at the Honolulu Airport ;D




Create your own custom photo books at Shutterfly.com.





Hello everyone!

Today is your last day to get a free 20 page photo book!

There is a feature on Shutterfly that automatically creates the book and is SUPER EASY!

Then you embed your creation onto your blog, send an active link to shareproject@shutterfly.com and you get a $10 gift certificate.

=)