Tuesday, October 22, 2013

My tribe

May 6, 2011

I have the tremendous opportunity to mother my young children without the need for full time childcare.  I cherish this role as I have grown immensely from it. As with any time-worthy-experience will have, there are challenges.

December 22, 2010
I survived round-the-clock nursing, sleepless nights, temper tantrums, sibling conflicts, nap time/meal time/bed time routines, etc. I felt accomplished and was super proud of myself. I developed a deeper capacity for love (and patience) that I never knew.
3 month old Gavin. August 14, 2010

Then I felt that twinge that something was missing. I started moving more. Exercising. Running. Strength training. Felt good. Got strong. Ran long.

Gigi and I at Lake Elizabeth : ) July 14, 2009

After all that, there was still something missing that I could not readily put my finger on. Then one day, about two years ago, it hit me. I WAS LONELY.


I thought, how could I possibly be lonely? I have work outside of being a mom, a supportive husband, family, and friends. Then I dissected the issue: being a full time mom is lonely. The friends in my inner circle are solid, time-tested, love-them-to-pieces, but logistically unavailable. My family although available, were not going through the same life stage I was, so being able to relate was an issue. Plus, family and friends seemed dis-interested in going with me to kid-centered outings. Since I consider myself an active and fun mom, my favorite thing to do is to do stuff with my kids. How wonderful would it be to do stuff with other moms and their kids close to home?!

So I got to work and went to the best place to find me some friends: the internet. The first group I tried was a faith-based mom's group. Very nice women. They had on the spot childcare during meetings which I thought was cool. In the end, two things turned me off: (1)  the price to add to group was a couple hundred every couple months. What the heck? I don't want friends that bad  (2) it just didn't feel like a good fit. The group also reminded me of the forced bonding common in college sororities. Kinda fake. I didn't like that.

Back to the drawing board I went. During my search I found MeetUp.com. I found a mom's group that had a hundred plus members and only cost $5 to get in. I also liked how you needed to go to an orientation meeting before your membership was accepted. Great security feature I thought. I went to my first meeting and found out about all the fun things this group organizes. Play date galore!!

I went to a bunch of play dates and slowly started getting to know certain moms. Developing mom and kid friendships is not easy because (1) the moms have to vibe and (2) so do their kids. If either one of these conditions is not met, the friendship may not be viable.

My tribe :) October 19, 2013

I quietly for prayed for some mom friends. I also quietly prayed for fitness buddies. It was a slow process, but now I look around and BAM! I have both :-) What I love about developing and nurturing friendships with like-minded individuals is that very often, you find that you share common values, goals, and dreams. This multi-level-connection coupled with logistical availability is a sweet recipe for deeply-rooted-friendships. And what a tremendous blessing my friends have been to me !!

This post is dedicated to my little tribe of wonderful mothers. From left to right: Kiscelle, Daisy, Linda, Petra, Adria, & Tina (not pictured). You all complete me! ;-) 


And realize that...

May you all have a charmed & blessed week!

See my FitChick story here: http://www.1runwithheart.com/2013/09/my-triathlon-journey.html